We’re taught to fear resistance—to see it as a sign that something is wrong, that we should back down, avoid discomfort, or push through without questioning it.
But what if resistance wasn’t the enemy?
What if it was the doorway to something deeper?
At Shadowbox Therapy, I see resistance as the most honest part of you, speaking up. It’s an invitation to pause, investigate, and understand what’s beneath the discomfort.
What Is Resistance, Really?
Resistance is the nervous system saying: This feels unfamiliar. This feels unsafe. This challenges my sense of self.
It shows up in therapy all the time:
- The moment before a breakthrough, when suddenly everything in you wants to shut down.
- The urge to cancel a session when the work is getting too real.
- The feeling of anger, defensiveness, or numbness when faced with hard truths.
Instead of fighting resistance, what if we got curious about it?
Resistance as a Compass
Resistance isn’t a wall—it’s a signal. It tells us:
- Where we are holding pain
- What stories we are protecting
- Which patterns are deeply wired into our nervous system
Instead of seeing resistance as something to override, we can learn to listen to it as part of the process.
What if the discomfort isn’t a reason to stop, but a sign you’re exactly where you need to be?
The Relationship Between Resistance and Somatic Work
When we hit resistance, our bodies react before our minds catch up. The heart races, the jaw clenches, the stomach tightens. This is your nervous system processing a perceived threat.
Traditional talk therapy might keep you stuck in intellectualizing your resistance. Somatic work, however, helps you experience it, understand it, and move through it.
Instead of asking, “Why am I so resistant?” try asking:
- What does this resistance feel like in my body?
- What emotion is hiding underneath it?
- What story am I telling myself about this discomfort?
Making Friends with Discomfort
Building tolerance for discomfort can help you with not being controlled by it anymore—That’s true healing.
Here’s what that looks like:
- Noticing when resistance shows up without judgment
- Sitting with discomfort instead of numbing, avoiding, or pushing through
- Allowing difficult emotions to move through your body instead of shutting down
You’re not supposed to force yourself through resistance. In Shadowbox Therapy, the goal is to expand your capacity to hold resistance.
Resistance in Relationships: Breaking Old Patterns
In therapy, I often see resistance show up in relationships:
- The fear of saying what you really need because of past rejection.
- Avoiding accountability because it feels too much like shame.
- Pulling away when things get vulnerable.
These are old survival patterns trying to protect you. And when we learn to recognize them, we can make different choices.
Want to explore this further? Read Roots vs. Symptoms: Why I Don’t Just Treat Symptoms to see how deep healing requires more than surface-level fixes.
Resistance is Where the Work Happens
If you’re feeling resistance—good. It means you’re stepping outside of autopilot. It means you’re in the work.
At Shadowbox Therapy, we don’t shy away from discomfort—we meet it head-on. Because real growth doesn’t come from avoidance. It comes from sitting in the mess, untangling old narratives, and choosing something different. Using somatic work and other methods, we’re able to get to the root of the issues.
➡️ Ready to break through your resistance? Join the waitlist below for therapy and let’s do this work together.
